Free range satire steeped in irony
A Walk Through The Ready, Steady, Chuck! Challenge
The images on this page, taken during the 2006 Challenge, illustrate a typical year's Ready, Steady, Chuck! competition. Chef Bruce guides the reader through the highs and lows of success and tragedy that are inevitable at such a top-class event.
And the finals begin with randomised aisles and sections for food selection.
With no printer we turn to writing out the random numbers on paper. Salt is on standby to get rid of the taste of things to come.
Chefs Kath, Andrew, Al and Bruce stand poised at the entrance to Morrisons ready to start shopping!
Chef Andrew is either confident, happy or crying with despair. But how can he fail with such fine ingredients?
Chef Al smiles through a grimace. Pot noodle is a challenging ingredient, and though Munch Bunch is both popular and versatile, it isn't the most obvious combination to work with.
Kath makes a pleasant and surprise appearance as chef rather than long-suffering judge, displaying a smile of pure confidence. Have her years of judging the Challenge given her the perfect training?
My expression is, of course, designed to lure my opponents into a false sense of security. There are plenty of things that can be done with this lot. The obvious shandy drink plus sausage, spaghetti and couscous side is just too simple, though. Something far more daring is required to secure the title.
Kath seems to be enjoying herself!
Kath's creation - The Tizer Soak - is a frighteningly good looking meal. And reluctantly I must concede that it tastes as good as it looks. It's a clear winner and we haven't even seen the others yet!
It's true - even the Tizer works in this meal.
Not sure where this was going, but the easy path would have been, well, too easy. It's time to create a true masterpiece.
Just adding the final touches. Unfortunately, the smell is truly awful!
Honestly, it smells far worse than it looks. But I'm already 15 minutes through so there's no turning back now.
The finished product, which after a few minor clarifications ended up as Italo-Irish Shandy Floater Stew. And my attempts to prevent anyone from tasting my dish may have succeeded. The name really does say it all. Surely this is a contender for the Most Revolting category of the Ready, Steady, Chuck! Challenge?
Cutting out the middle man!
Has it been eaten?
Sorry about that. Gratuitous. Great bit of modern art though.
Chef Andrew puts his heart and soul into his creation. (Not literally, though. Human internal organs would probably be non-permitted ingredients, however much they might improve the taste).
Chef Al works at the same time, at the opposite end of the kitchen. It's a cook-off! The pot noodle base begins to soften into golden strands, ready for combining with the Munch Bunch.
Chef Al's dish, Crispy Choco-Noodle Supreme, has great presentation, and shows creative and imaginative use of all the ingredients. It's totally inedible.
Chef Andrew's creation, Bangor Nipple Tipple Surprise, has the best name and gets bonus points for his having time to write out the recipe in full. It doesn't taste awful, but it is certainly pretty bad.