Pour half of the Chicken Tonight cook-in sauce into a pan and bring to the boil. Add several large scoops of strawberry jam and stir thoroughly until mixed. Meanwhile, slice the scones in half and set aside.
Place the cereal bars in a plastic bag and crumble then into a grain. Set this aside for later as well.
Break the chocolate sponge into large pieces and place them into a sealable container. An empty Pringles tube is ideal for this. Pour the remaining Chicken tonight and some of the milk into the tube, seal the lid and shake throughly, over the sink just in case it all explodes. Pour the shaken mixture into a saucepan and bring to the boil, stirring continuously.
After about five minutes the mixtures will have thickened and you should now have two pots of brown sludge, one slightly darker than the other. Take the lighter coloured sludge, which should be slightly stickier, and spread this on the scones so that they stick together into a cylinder. Arrange them on a plate. Cover the cylinder with the darker sludge.
Finally, decorate one end of the cylinder with the cereal bar grain and arrange pasta shapes at the other end to make a face. Clean the edges of the plate and serve quickly before the facial features fall off.
Andy: "First ensure the Chicken Tonight is dead"
Kirsty: "I want it to look like a log"
Al: "Oh... it looks like a log alright"
Marcus: "Its... just... so wrong"
Kath: "That Chicken Tonight was upsetting. It destroyed my emotions"
Kirsty: "It was perfectly fine until the chocolate sauce went on"